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The things that you have to deal with in the aftermath of a loss like ours are numerous and sometimes surprising. We are now more than a month out (five weeks, today, in fact) from the events of that terrible evening, and we are still trying to cope with dozens of issues. We've received bills from the hospital and the doctors, which required us to send replies out with insurance information. We're dealing with the cemetery and a number of monument companies, trying to figure out exactly what we want in the way of a marker for our daughter's grave site. Over the weekend, we received a letter from the insurance company for the driver involved that night. His claim adjuster was touching base as she conducted her investigation to determine what liability her company has. We've completed a claim form for the life insurance policy we had taken out for our daughter when she was born. We still need to sit down with our financial advisor to determine how to adjust our investments to reflect our new reality (in particular, our anticipated college education expenses are now significantly reduced). It seems that we only rarely have a day in which we don't have to address some detail in our lives that needs to be addressed in light of our loss.
Each of these issues is painful to deal with, and yet, we do what we need to, taking them on, one-by-one as they come up. I expect that they should gradually become less frequent as time goes by, but at the same time, they may become bigger surprises and more painful as well.
I've spent a lot of time over the last week or so looking through pictures of our daughter, trying to find pictures to share on the "Becky's Hugs" page I created at Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Beckys-Hugs/147053868666518). I'm looking for pictures that showcase her personality, or which reflect the things she enjoyed doing or accomplished during her life. There are so many wonderful memories buried in those pictures, and it helps me to shift my focus away from the fact that she is no longer here with us and on the fact that we did enjoy many, many terrific things with her.
Each of these issues is painful to deal with, and yet, we do what we need to, taking them on, one-by-one as they come up. I expect that they should gradually become less frequent as time goes by, but at the same time, they may become bigger surprises and more painful as well.
I've spent a lot of time over the last week or so looking through pictures of our daughter, trying to find pictures to share on the "Becky's Hugs" page I created at Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Beckys-Hugs/147053868666518). I'm looking for pictures that showcase her personality, or which reflect the things she enjoyed doing or accomplished during her life. There are so many wonderful memories buried in those pictures, and it helps me to shift my focus away from the fact that she is no longer here with us and on the fact that we did enjoy many, many terrific things with her.
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(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-04 01:15 pm (UTC)I'm sorry there are so many constant reminders. There ought to be a better way. I honestly think that Becky's hugs have changed the way I feel about hugs now. They seem more special.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-04 02:06 pm (UTC)Becky changed a lot of lives. In life and in death. I think she's got a few more to touch yet.
And Wren? You put it exactly right. Hugs are more special now. More precious.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-04 02:20 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-05 03:21 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-04 09:51 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-04 11:18 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-05 12:21 am (UTC)Just after Becky's accident, I heard a piece on the radio about a Compassionate Friends gathering there in DC. I'm sure that it's beyond the scope of what you're thinking of now, but they may be a good resource in the future. (http://www.compassionatefriends.org/home.aspx)
Lots of love and hugs and wishes for joy and laughter in the remembering and in continuing to live to the fullest to share Becky's spirit with all those you meet.
((((((((((((((((Andy & Family)))))))))))))))))))
(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-06 01:47 am (UTC)Hugs
Date: 2010-10-17 04:29 pm (UTC)