ResQgeek

The Qgeek clan is preparing for what is quickly becoming an annual trip in search of mountains and snow for some good skiing. Knowing this, a co-worker forwarded this news article to me yesterday. I'm going to guess that this was not the highlight of this guy's ski trip. I might even go so far as to say that he was em-bare-ass-ed.

:o)

My language meme entry reminded me of a joke I heard a couple of weeks ago:

If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual,
and someone who speaks three languages is trilingual,
and someone who speaks more than three language is multi-lingual,
then what do yo call someone who only speaks one language?

( punchline hidden behind cut )

A groundskeeper was making his rounds in a cemetery one day, when he heard a small, sobbing voice say "Why did you have to die?" The groundskeeper looks around, but he doesn't see anybody. Again, the voice says "Why did you have to die?" Curious, the groundskeeper walks in the direction of the voice. "Why did you have to die?" Finally, the groundskeeper finds a frail old man on his knees in front of a gravestone. "Why did you have to die?" The man is distraught. Unable to read the stone, the groundskeeper asks "Was that your wife?"

"No. Why did you have to die?"

"Was it you mother?"

"No. Why did you have to die?"

"So, who was it?"

"My wife's first husband! Why did you have to die?"

Here's a post from the blog entry of some friends of mine:
http://www.mepsnbarry.com/adventures/2006/02/the-gift-of-a-memorable-zucchini/

I think they may be onto something here.

Now this is what I call a better mousetrap! Guaranteed to be noisy and messy, but you won't have to worry about that critter again! :o)

US Patent No. 269,766

Condoms Are Named for Clinton, Lewinsky
Chinese Company Begins Marketing Condoms With Clinton, Lewinsky Brand Names
( the body of the AP article )

Is it me, or does it seem like this is a rather late arrival on the market. After all, this is very old news.

The Associated Press

HONG KONG Apr 8, 2005 — Doctors have removed a leech from the nose of a 55-year-old Hong Kong woman after she swam and washed her face in a stream, a medical journal reported.

( The rest of the article -- TMI Alert! )

I hate leeches. Needless to say, this article absolutely makes my skin crawl. And my wife wonders why I don't like hiking or camping...

UNION SPRINGS, Ala. (AP) - Dreaming of ways to break out of jail is pretty normal.

But for the second time in less than a month, police have arrested a man for trying to break into the Bullock County Jail.

( the rest of the article )

Is breaking into jail a hot new trend? How do you punish someone who wants to get into the jail?

I got a good chuckle last night from one of the sub-plots on "West Wing," involving some drunken hunters crossing the border into Canada and creating a minor international incident. One of the White House military advisers kept trying to advance contingency plans for a military response, much to the dismay others. Aside from the humorous way it was presented on the show, this tickled by funny bone because it reminded me so much of something my youngest brother used to go on about.

( My brother's silliness )

Then to top things off, I find this today:

LYNDEN, Wash. (AP) — A practical joke shut down a U.S.-Canadian border crossing for nearly four hours just as the weekend was getting under way.

( the rest of the article )

I have to wonder, is there a connection here somewhere?

First, there's this:
ANETA, N.D. (AP) — A wild turkey flock may be crazy for moving to this town, which claims it holds the world's largest turkey barbecue each summer.

( story #1 )

Then, this:
WHITTIER, Iowa (AP) — A wild turkey who lived life in the fast lane near this eastern Iowa town has died doing what he did best — chasing cars.

( story #2 )

And last, but by no means least:
Turkey Terrorizes State Troopers (Friday, February 25, 2005) FOXNews

It was a brief but glorious run along an Ohio highway for one ornery turkey.

( story #3 )